I think you need some therapy to get over your self loathing that led you into this situation in the first place. Feeling you only have value for what your physical appearance and body look like is not going to serve you well in the long run because your body is aging and looks will begin to change and fade. What happens when your boyfriend stops gushing over how beautiful you are and you're left with not feeling loved because you think you have nothing else to offer? You're going to seek out that validation somewhere else, again, and you'll cheat again, guaranteed. (I was married to the male version of you)
see the review