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This is why I say the action damaging and causing hurt is past tense...now it is just about riding out the consequences of those actions. That's why we are here to try and set you up for success best you can. It's not going to be easy and it may mean he decides to leave. But if you love him like you say, that's a choice you should be willing to allow him. To not do so is being controlling. Manipulating an outcome to your own personal advantage to avoid consequences of your actions, instead of doing what is fair for someone else. see the review

One note on the above points from GoldenR...write the NC letter with your fiance together. Don't go off and do that on your own. This isn't a time for any sort of explanation or closure to your OM. This isn't about giving the OM context as to why you can't speak so that he understands and doesn't wonder where you went. This is completely about your fiance and making HIM feel safe and no one else no matter what their perception. The reason I say to include your fiance is because that NS communication could also be seen as yet another betrayal without his involvement. Once you let your fiance know, it's about letting him be in control of the outcome and doing everything he needs to feel safe again. see the review

Good luck, and let us know how it goes. We are here to help each step of the way. see the review

The majority of people commenting here are Betrayed Spouses (that is what they call themselves). The most angry with you and virulent about how important your immediate confession is, are the ones who were most hurt by whoever and whatever happened in THEIR lives. They have their own agenda, it has nothing to do with you, your situation, your relationship and your baby. see the review

Easy to say when valid points can't really be discounted. see the review

I don't know OP, and not to sound harsh I don't really care which direction she goes with this. see the review

What I can say from experience and knowledge I've gained along the way is, love is an action, it's easy to say you love someone harder to show it through actions. OP's actions don't match her words. That has nothing to do with the posters here being betrayed spouses. see the review

Here is the thing, the comments and advise tends to be a mixture of personal experience, understanding what did and didn't work, what they wished could have or didn't happen. see the review

Yet, common sense says you can't build a happy well balanced healthy relationship on lies. Any therapist that suggests otherwise is a bad one. A good one understands that Keeping this a secret will only create bigger issues. see the review

Professionals who have actually met you, are telling you to put your health and child first, for now. Please listen to them. see the review

Absolute horsesh*t. see the review