So telling him would be what breaks your relationship? OR could it be the fact you had an affair.....this wasn't a one time thing BTW it was a ongoing affair.
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Is this "friend" still in your life? I'm on the fence with whether it would be better for him to know or not. Sometimes I think telling the other person to take the weight off of you is selfish in a way. You'll feel a bit better and he'll never be the same. I've been cheated on by someone who I completely trusted and loved and it was the worst feeling in the world. I don't wish it upon anyone else.
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If you do tell him, the both of you seek out couples counseling...I feel it's not worth tossing all of what you have away over this one time indiscretion.
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It's true that you need forgiveness. What you did was terrible. They put people to death in some countries for that. This is a very serious thing. Once he forgives you, only then can you begin to forgive yourself.
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This post tells us everything we need to know... This is your first rodeo, but yes, this is the reaction your should expect because you know what you did was horrific, but you really don't want to rock the boat.
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