You are not understanding this correctly. You are acting like it is the action of telling him that would be the cause of his pain. That's a lie to yourself to talk yourself out of doing it. It was THE ACTION that destroyed his happiness and shattered his family. The telling is just you being honest with the horrific actions you took so that you are not desperately attempting to dictate the consequences you have to face by being controlling over your husband and tailoring his day to day feelings to your liking, not to reality. Not cool.
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